Reflections On Being A Eunuch

With my wife in Florida getting all the sex she can handle and being by myself, other than Saturday night/Sunday morning, I've had a lot of time to think.  One big conclusion is I LOVE being castrated! I have realized that so much of what males think and do is based on balls.  On testosterone really but that comes from balls.  By not having balls, I realize how much of my life was controlled by them.  I love the "eunuch calm" as it called being castrated has brought to my life and I wish I had been castrated long before now!

A second conclusion is, thinking back on the years of being married, I really don't like sex with women.  Oh I've done it and the orgasm is nice but I don't like what it takes to get to the orgasm.  I would much rather have masturbated.  If I'm absolutely honest, the only time I have REALLY enjoyed sex with my wife was after she had been with a man and I was fucking her through his cum.  Don't get me wrong.  I love my wife deeply but it's platonic love only, not erotic and platonic like most marriages.  What brought all of this to mind was what I described on Sunday morning.  There I was with a woman I had actually fucked years ago rubbing her hot wet pussy all over my shrunken little penis and it didn't respond at all.  And in thinking about it I am glad I didn't have any response so I didn't have to fuck her.  Another benefit of castration.

The third conclusion also comes from Sunday morning.  I slept with them Saturday night in between her and him.  Sunday morning I woke up with him snuggled up behind me.  And I liked it.  I'm quite small at barely 5'6" and being held by a man over 6' was lovely.  Sure, it's not the first time I have awakened with a man's arms around me but it is the first time I have had this much time to think afterward.  Saturday night was all about fucking but Sunday morning as I sucked him and then mounted him cowgirl, I was making love to him, to his cock.  Because I've known them for years, I was feeling some affection for him.  This led to the third conclusion.  I could quite easily fall in love with a man; I could easily marry a man I loved and be his castrated sex toy. That was a startling conclusion!

But not to worry, I'm not going to be leaving home or anything.  But I am going to be more proactive looking for men.  In the past, I've mostly depended on my wife selecting bi men as one or two of her steady boyfriends so that I could occasionally get my ass tapped.  I'm going to find someone who wants a castrated sissy bottom to use.

Last Night

My wife is in Florida being fucked silly by one of her boyfriends.  Well last night, I had sex with a man and a woman!  Well okay, he fucked me in the ass while I licked her pussy and she made fun of both of us.  Calling her husband pathetic excuse for a man and only good for fucking faggot asses while calling me a castrated baby dicked little pussy who is good for only being used as a cunt.  It was so much fun. 

Now first of all, I've known this couple for years and we met when they answered my wife's ad.  They are both very sweet, bisexual and quite adventurous.  In fact, she was the last woman other than my wife, I ever fucked and we have a long sexual history.  She and my wife did a 69 right next to her husband and me doing a 69, I've fucked her, she's given me a blowjob, her husband has fucked my wife, my wife has given him a blowjob, I've fucked the husband, he's given me a blowjob, he has fucked me and I've given him a blowjob.  She has been absolutely fascinated by me being castrated, loving to feel between my legs where my balls used to be.  She even woke me up once during the night feeling me.  This morning she told us to "entertain ourselves" while she went and made breakfast although she did stay and watch while I fluffed her husband but went out when I mounted him cowgirl.  We were relaxing with my head on his shoulder and his arm around me when she came in to tell us breakfast was ready.  I did clean up so as not to mess up their kitchen chairs.  The funniest moment of the entire time I was there happened when I went in the bedroom to dress.  She came in doing a sexy walk, shoved me back on the bed, jumped on me,  Then started rubbing her pussy all over my little dick and passionately kissing me.  After about a minute with no reaction from my little dick, she looked me in the eyes and said. "Wow, you really don't have any sexual feelings do you?"  I told her I enjoyed the kisses and the touching and her pussy felt pleasurable but not sexually.  She told me she was amazed at the difference between before I was castrated and now.  That before I could get excited but wouldn't fuck because I didn't want to break my streak of not fucking a woman ( now at almost 9 years) and now I have no interest and can't fuck a woman.  I'm now her best "girlfriend" and next time she wants to go for a girls night out, I'm her winggirl to keep men from bothering her.

From Good Girl To Hotwife

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A Sex Vacation

One thing I have found being castrated for well over a year now is I am becoming a bit submissive.  Oh, I’m not talking about the put a dog collar on me and lead me around on a leash submissive.  Just less resistant to things.  For instance, my wife told me the other day she was going to Florida with one of her boyfriends for a few days of fun and nights of hot fucking.  Now while I love being a cuckold and the thought of my wife sleeping with another man has always been wonderfully humiliating, I would normally have wanted to go along on a trip like that.  But in this instance, I just said “Have fun.”  Another example involves this same boyfriend.  He had just finished fucking my wife and they were still snuggled in bed when he looked at me (he likes me to watch) and said, “Go get us a couple of glasses of wine.”  While it wasn’t said in a nasty manner, it also wasn’t a request, just a flat statement.  In the past, I would have brought the wine but I also would have given it back to him with something like, “Just who was your fucking maid last week?” 

But this also made me think.  This particular boyfriend works from home about 95% of the time.  His house has what’s called a Mother-In-Law apartment off the back deck.  It’s basically what’s now being called a tiny house and was where his mother-in-law lived prior to his divorce.  What I was thinking is, my wife and I have plenty of time off so what would it be like if we lived with him for say a month.  Well, actually it would be the two of them living together as husband and wife while I live in the apartment.  As their maid.  The only thing I would be allowed to wear seven days a week would be maid’s uniforms and I would do all the cooking, laundry, and cleaning.  Maybe just a plain uniform with flats for the daytime and a nice frilly French maid uniform with heels for the nights and weekends.   The only drawback I can see to this is she might not want to ever leave after 30 days and nights of being long dicked by him.  Of course, since the boyfriend is bi and likes to occasionally fuck me, after 30 days I might not want to leave either.

The Long "Arm" Of The Law

We live on the outskirts of a very large city and there is an attorney in the city who is quite successful, rich, handsome, single and has beautiful silver hair that he pulls back in a short ponytail.  All in all, the kind of man who makes who makes women drool.  He also has a very large cock and is fantastic in bed.  How do I know that?  Easy, my wife told me because he was one of her boyfriends for a while.  I've watched him sink his beautiful cock into my wife and heard her scream through a lot of orgasms while being fucked by him.  My wife says, out of the over 350 men she's fucked, if he isn't the best she's ever had, he's in the top five.  What's really funny is they met at a gang bang.  Hers!  He was one of the men attending and according to her, the other 8 men combined didn't come close to satisfying her as well as he did.  When the gang bang was over, my wife actually gave him her phone number and he obviously did call.  They saw each other for close to a year and I know my wife still thinks about him.  After all, he's well known here and is on the news frequently.  I swear the other night, when the news showed him in a courtroom, my wife had an orgasm just sitting in her chair.

Oh, I said he had a beautiful cock and he did.  It was about 8.5 inches and wonderfully proportioned, not too thick, not too thin.  I really wanted to fluff it.  Hell, I wanted to suck it until he shot a load down my throat, I wanted him to fuck me and cum in my ass.  But that wasn't something he was interested in, just my wife's pussy (and her blowjobs).  The closest I got was to clean his cum out of my wife.

Things That Turn Men On

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Panties Crusted With Cum

I saw this picture on Tumblr of a woman holding a pair of panties and I have a pair quite similar to them.  In fact, I was wearing them the night I lost my anal cherry when Al fucked my ass and shot a huge load of cum in me confirming me as a sissy faggot.  I put them back on that night and, when I woke up in the morning, cum had leaked out of me crusting in the panties.  I sealed those panties in a baggie and years later, Al's cum is still crusted in the crotch.  I occasionally look at them and think of that night, the feeling of Al's cock in my ass the first time, him thrusting into me, and finally the feeling of his hot cum boiling into my ass.  I've had a lot of cocks in my ass since, but girls always say you never forget your first and they are right.  Al was my first lover, the man who confirmed me as a queer sissy faggot and I'll never forget him.

Penile Implant

One of my wife's former lovers had a penile implant so he could get an erection.  It works by simply pumping liquid into tubes that are inserted into the area of the penis that normally fills with blood.  The reservoir is hidden in the body and the pump is in the scrotum shown in the illustration above.  By gently squeezing and releasing the pump, liquid is pumped into the tubes in the penis causing an erection.  When finished with the erection you simply squeeze and hold the pump letting the fluid drain out allowing the penis to become flaccid.

My wife said she absolutely loved kneeling, sucking his cock and pumping it up to an erection at the same time.  She also said a few times she sucked him while she pumped him up, held the pump to deflate, pump, deflate over and over.  She said the best part was when he would cum, it stayed hard.  She could blow him until he would cum and then he could immediately start fucking her.  Or he could fuck her, cum in her and keep fucking.  According to her, that was the best part.  They could just keep fucking and fucking and fucking until they both were exhausted before they allowed his cock to deflate.

I'm sure someone has thought, am I thinking about an implant like that so I can get an erection?  NO!!!!!  Why on earth would a castrated sissy cuckold like me want an erection?