Reflections On Being A Eunuch

With my wife in Florida getting all the sex she can handle and being by myself, other than Saturday night/Sunday morning, I've had a lot of time to think.  One big conclusion is I LOVE being castrated! I have realized that so much of what males think and do is based on balls.  On testosterone really but that comes from balls.  By not having balls, I realize how much of my life was controlled by them.  I love the "eunuch calm" as it called being castrated has brought to my life and I wish I had been castrated long before now!

A second conclusion is, thinking back on the years of being married, I really don't like sex with women.  Oh I've done it and the orgasm is nice but I don't like what it takes to get to the orgasm.  I would much rather have masturbated.  If I'm absolutely honest, the only time I have REALLY enjoyed sex with my wife was after she had been with a man and I was fucking her through his cum.  Don't get me wrong.  I love my wife deeply but it's platonic love only, not erotic and platonic like most marriages.  What brought all of this to mind was what I described on Sunday morning.  There I was with a woman I had actually fucked years ago rubbing her hot wet pussy all over my shrunken little penis and it didn't respond at all.  And in thinking about it I am glad I didn't have any response so I didn't have to fuck her.  Another benefit of castration.

The third conclusion also comes from Sunday morning.  I slept with them Saturday night in between her and him.  Sunday morning I woke up with him snuggled up behind me.  And I liked it.  I'm quite small at barely 5'6" and being held by a man over 6' was lovely.  Sure, it's not the first time I have awakened with a man's arms around me but it is the first time I have had this much time to think afterward.  Saturday night was all about fucking but Sunday morning as I sucked him and then mounted him cowgirl, I was making love to him, to his cock.  Because I've known them for years, I was feeling some affection for him.  This led to the third conclusion.  I could quite easily fall in love with a man; I could easily marry a man I loved and be his castrated sex toy. That was a startling conclusion!

But not to worry, I'm not going to be leaving home or anything.  But I am going to be more proactive looking for men.  In the past, I've mostly depended on my wife selecting bi men as one or two of her steady boyfriends so that I could occasionally get my ass tapped.  I'm going to find someone who wants a castrated sissy bottom to use.

Well What Do You Know

An online acquaintance wrote to me the other day.  Over the months, we have talked about a lot of things such as her breakup with her boyfriend, her occasional desire for another woman and my love of men and of being a cuckold.  She can understand my desire for men since shes' bi but the cuckolding she doesn't understand.  I've tried hard to explain how much I enjoy the humiliation of my wife sleeping with man after man because they can please her and I can't.  We pretty much tell each other everything and from our conversations, she's learned a lot about me.  So this is something she pointed out in her email:

1. I list myself as bisexual.
2. I have not had sex with a woman in over 6 years.
3. I don't have any desire to have sex with a woman.
4. I like fluffing men so they can fuck my wife.
5. I enjoy giving blowjobs and I like cum.
6. I really enjoy being ass fucked.  It's my favorite form of sex.
7. My favorite porn is pics of men fucking or being sucked by cd/tv/ts/sissies along with yaoi and shotcon.

Her point was as she wrote, "You don't have or want sex with a woman but you do want and have sex with men.  I hate to burst your bubble honey but you are not bisexual, you are the very definition of homosexual."

Well what do you know, I'm gay.  I am a homosexual  I AM GAY! OK, sure I've called myself a faggot because I've always said I lean to the rainbow side of bisexual.  Now it looks like I've crossed the Rainbow Bridge and my idea of Valhalla is a man with a massive cock buried in my ass pumping a load of hot cum deep in me.  So yes, it appears I'm homosexual.  Call it whatever you want. Queer, homo, knob gobbler, peter puffer, pole smoker, poof, pouf, fruit, fairy, pansy, butt boi, light in my loafers, or pillow biter.  I think I knew it when I sucked D's cock when I was barely a teen.   I think I knew it when I woke up with crusted cum in my panties and realized Al had fucked my virgin ass the night before and I wanted more.  I think I've known it every time I've sucked a cock or felt a man coming in my ass.   Now I will know it next time a man is pumping his cum in me.  And you know what?  I'm OK with that.