Castration Counter

Showing posts with label smoking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label smoking. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

I Took Some Purity Tests Online Today

I took a few purity tests today just playing around online.  One rated me 32.4% pure, another rated me 22% pure and a final one rated me 20% (Totally Depraved).  Apparently the only lower rating I could have gotten on that test was Sick and Wrong.  And to think, I only missed that one by a few points!  Actually I figured it out that I missed it by ten points and that I was the top of the Totally Depraved.  One more point and I would have gone to Decidedly Perverted,  I also took a Sexuality Spectrum and was rated as bi with gay leanings.  I guess that means given a choice between pussy and cock, I'll take the cock.

The first test with the 32.4% score was a 1000 question test and the second 22% score was a 200 question test from the same website.  One obvious reason for the different score is on the 1000 word test they might ask four questions regarding getting scratches on your or your partners back during sex.  You might answer one yes and three no.  Meanwhile, on the 200 question test, they might combine all of these into one question allowing you to answer with one yes only to that question.  Since each yes lowers your purity and each no raises it, obviously you will score lower where several questions are combined.  There is also a 500 question test on the same website which I'm sure would show a result somewhere between the two.

The third test was only 100 questions so again it's a matter of less no answers and more yes answers.  It did seem they had cribbed a lot of their questions from the website with the 200, 500 and 1000 question tests.  The difference with the site is their rankings of purity.  The following are their rankings and, as you can see, I almost made it to the top or maybe the "bottom of the barrel."  I guess maybe if I when my Boxer had humped my leg when I was a teen, if I had let him...nah being knotted wouldn't be worth a lower score would it? Or maybe I could have jacked off a horse down at the farm. I don't remember if this test had a question about it, I'm not setting up a drug lab to get a lower score.  Walter White I'm not!  Oh well, at least only 2% of the people who took this test were more warped that me.  So I can proudly say I'm more fucked up than 98% of the people who took this test.

20% pure: Totally Depraved

You are just 20% sexually pure!


Your Analysis (Vertical line = Average)

  • purity Distribution
    You scored 20% on purity, higher than 2% of your peers.

All possible test results 

Sick and Wrong 

Totally Depraved

Decidedly Perverted

Very Kinky


Somewhat Debaucherous

Rather Experienced

Tad Inexperienced


Mostly Innocent


Uncorrupted


Pure as Driven Snow

The results of the Sexuality Spectrum I think are a little skewed by the way they ask questions.  For instance, if we are happily married, even if she and I are both getting sex from men and not each other, it still counts toward being heterosexual.  On the test, it doesn't matter if my idea of great sex is sucking a cock hard before he fucks my wife.   It doesn't matter if my idea of group sex is sitting in the corner watching ten men gang fuck my wife or laying on the bed with ten men DPing me.  It doesn't matter that I haven't had sex with my wife in five and a half years but she's been fucked hundreds of times by a lot of men (and a few women)  in that same period.  It doesn't matter if my idea of a long cock slowly sliding in and out is in and out of my ass.  If you are happy with your wife as a platonic partner, or in other words almost a sister, it's hard to score very much on the gay side.

 This is the website for the 200, 500 and 1000 question tests.  Answer them honestly and post your scores in comments here.  http://www.puritytest.net/   Try it out and let me know how well or poorly you did.

 

Sissie 

 

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Self Bondage

 First of all, if you have any kind of medical issues that may cause you to need emergency assistance, DO NOT try this!

I know that some sissies would love to be put in bondage while dressed but don't have anyone to do it for them.  And while it's possible to use ropes on your ankles, it's pretty hard to get a good tie around your wrists by yourself. But there is actually a good way to put yourself in bondage and be unable to get out for a predetermined amount of time.  Here is what you'll need.  Handcuffs, leg shackles if desired (you should desire) and some containers of various sizes.  First of all, fill all the containers with water, freeze and then time how long each container takes to melt.  This is very important.  I recommend the smallest container as something like a small or medium prescription pill bottle and nothing larger really than a tuna can to start with.  Now, take the container which matches your desired bondage time, fill it halfway with water and freeze.  While your waiting for that to happen, I recommend you pick up some soft flexible rubber hose that will fit over the handcuffs and leg shackles.  This is for your comfort.  Now that your container is frozen half full, remove it from the freezer  First, their should be a ring for the handcuff keys.  Tie a strong cord of some kind to the ring making sure it's well tied and strong enough not to break! Place a Popsicle stick or pencil or similar item through the ring on the key/s and choose the container based on how much time you have to spend.  Lay the stick/pencil over the container so the key/s rest in the middle on the ice that is already formed.  If the container is too deep to use the ring on the keys, make a loop in the cord that just allows the keys to rest on the ice.  Fill the container the rest of the way with water and place back in the freezer.  While this is freezing, cut the soft rubber hose to fit the handcuffs/shackles and slide it over as much of the cuff as you can.  Also, you need something to secure yourself to.  For instance I use a ten foot section of heavy 1" link logging chain padlocked around something and another padlock to secure the chain to the handcuffs or (preferred) shackles.  Once you are dressed and ready, take the container out of the freezer and tie the cord securely to the handcuffs.  Determine how/where you want to secure yourself, snap the shackles on your ankles, then the handcuffs to your wrists and you are in bondage until the ice melts!  You can use lengths of chain, padlocks and locking leather wrist/ankle cuffs if you prefer.  I have both types (cuffs/shackles and leather cuffs) but the handcuffs/shackles are usually less expensive than the leather cuffs.  By the way, you can always get the padded handcuffs with interchangeable fur liners online for about $15 and shackles for around $23.

Here are a few tips though before you start.  First of all, secure yourself somewhere so you have access to a chair or something comfortable if you pick a larger container for more time.  Also put some water, Gatorade or other fluids where you can reach them.  Keep your cellphone in reach in case of an emergency as you would probably prefer to be embarrassed over injured in some way (fire departments have seen it all).  Or if you smoke, keep your lighter close by as in an emergency, you can melt the ice in a minute or so by flicking your Bic.

To give you an idea of how this would work, let me relate one of my own experiences. I've mentioned in other posts about working out of town on midnight shift and renting an apartment.  One apartment I had for quite a while was a basement apartment in a house owned by an elderly woman.  It had a separate entrance in the back of the house and a small patio.  About 8 feet from the door was a small tree.  If you were on the patio, you could be seen from the kitchen entrance of the house next door and you could almost set your watch by the woman next door coming out at 6am to get the broom to sweep her kitchen.  So what I had to do was time it so that I could get back into my apartment before the lady next door came out and saw me.  The first step was to attach my heavy chain to the tree leaving enough slack to reach my door but not enough to go inside.  Next I took a container with a hole drilled in the top big enough for the key to come out once the ice had melted.  I had tested this container and had marked different levels on it for different melting times.  This time I had filled the container to the level for six hours but instead of the handcuff key, I had frozen the padlock key.  The handcuff/shackle keys I had hung out of reach on the fence around the backyard.  So about 11pm I went out on my patio, snapped a padlock through the last length of heavy chain and through a length of the chain on the set of shackles.  This was it.  If I put the shackles on, I was committed to the next six hours on the patio in plain sight.  Should I?  Of course I should and within a few seconds, I was wearing both shackles and handcuffs before sitting down gently (extra large butt plug in my ass).  Oh yes, I said in plain sight didn't I?  At 11pm?  I guess I forgot to mention the streetlight type outdoor light right over the patio didn't I?  So where I was sitting it was quite bright.  Now think about it.  I'm chained to a tree for six hours in the middle of the night and what is there to do.  I still smoked then although I normally only went through about a third of a pack a day.  That night I went through almost a pack of Eve menthol.  Well of course I smoked sissy cigarettes with flowers on them when I was dressed.  But you can't smoke for six hours straight so what else can you do.  That's right, you can reach under your skirt and rub your sissy little self through your panties.  I knew that sometime during the night, I would probably orgasm since I could still get hard and cum back then.  So I had placed a maxi-pad (with wings...yes I'm a sissy) in my panties which also helped keep my little cock tucked back between my legs.  Anyway, I would rub myself through the pad, panties and pantyhose letting it gradually build but stopping before cumming. And so it would go, smoke a cigarette, rub, smoke a cigarette, rub and so on.  By the way, smoking a cigarette or masturbating while wearing handcuffs is an experience.   Now if you've ever done the rub, stop, rub, stop, etc. you know that the build up toward orgasm gets shorter and shorter or at least it used to for me.  By about 3am I had pretty much reached critical mass and it took about two rubs before I was bouncing on that butt plug while I filled my maxi-pad with cum.  Oh great, now I have a sticky mess between my legs and I need to pee.  Not much chance of getting my pantyhose and panties down to pee then getting them back up with my hands cuffed in front of me  I figured it would only be a couple of hours, so not too bad until I looked at the jar and the ice around the key.  Uh, that looked like it was going to take longer to melt than six hours.  Oh SHIT am I still going to be chained up when Sandra comes out to get her broom?  I didn't care if she saw me dressed and in fact she had in the past; I just didn't want her to see me chained to a fucking tree!  It was then that I figured out the temperature was a little lower outside than it was when I tested the melting time.  It finally did finish melting enough for me to get the key out a little after 5:30am so I unlocked the padlock, made my way over and got the handcuff/shackle keys and got inside.  I unlocked my cuffs and shackles, went to the bathroom, then heated a cup of coffee in the microwave.  I had left my door open and I heard Sandra come out her screen door for her broom so I figure I missed her by about 10 minutes.  Plenty of time but closer than I wanted and I'm just glad Sandra didn't get up early.  As an aside, I did step back outside on the patio for a few minutes while sipping my coffee and enjoying the sunrise.  I'm pretty sure Sandra noticed me but, if she came out to talk, I was already back inside with the door closed.

The sissy I learned this from said she once spent 18 hours, wearing 3 1/2" heels, chained standing up to a metal support pole in her basement.   According to her, a female friend living nearby checked on her about every four hours and would give her a sip or two of fluid.  I don't know if she did that or not but I wouldn't recommend it for anyone for a first time. However, if you want some bondage experience but don't have someone to secure you, try this the first time for an hour or so inside and work up in time.  You might like it and make a sticky, sissy mess in your panties like I did.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Is this what a woman feels the first time she's fucked?


In no way do I advocate the taking of any medicine not prescribed by a doctor.  The statute of limitations has run out on anything mentioned here.


I woke up the next day and realized that just a few hours earlier a dick was shooting a load of cum in my ass. I had been fucked by a man last night!  Yes, I had co-operated and, in fact, I was riding cowgirl when he shot that big load in me.  But in the light of day it was different.  OK, yes I love dressing in women's clothing and yes, I had sucked a cock when I was still in middle school but this was something else.  Last night I was not only dressed like a woman but I was used like one.  I had been fucked!  At that moment I hated him for fucking me. I hated myself for letting him seduce me. I hated him for the dried cum I felt in my panties. I hated myself for enjoying the feel of his dick sliding in and out of my ass.  Most of all, I was ashamed because I wanted the feeling of his cock in me again.  Is this what a girl feels when she loses her virginity?  Does she hate him for making her a woman and herself because she' gave up her innocence?  Is she ashamed because she wants to fuck again?  Is this what my wife felt when her high school boyfriend fucked her the first time?  Or maybe what she felt after an ex-boyfriend fucked her making me a cuckold when we had been married a couple of years.  What did all this mean?  I couldn't be a faggot, could I?  Yes I had loved sucking my neighbors cock for three years but we had been kids then and kids experiment with same sex relationships.  Now, years later, I wasn't a kid, I was an adult and I had let a thirty-seven year old bi-sexual man fuck me like a sissy faggot.  He had used me as a pussy just like he would have used his ex-wife.  Yes, I was really fucking stoned but is that an excuse?  Or did it just loosen me up and let me do something I wanted to do anyway? 

First a little background on him.  He was thirty-seven and divorced as I said.  About six foot three making him nine inches taller than me but fairly slim.  He lived by himself down the road from us in a house that belonged to his mother who was in a nursing home.  The two of us shared an interest in photography and we were always showing up at each others house to show off our latest photos.  While he never said or did anything overt, I always had the feeling when we were mounting our cameras on tripods, he would like to mount me on his mano-pod.  Little did I know.

How it all came about is really a cliche right out of sissy fiction.  Believe it or not, he actually caught me dressed.  This was before my wife found out that it was to her benefit sexually to have a sissy cuckold for a husband and back then basically just put up with my crossdressing but only if she was not there.  At the time this happened, she was to be gone for about six weeks helping take care of a seriously ill parent.  We had weird schedules at work and I was due for four days off, work seven days, then off two days.  I had taken those seven days of vacation time so I was going to be off for 13 days and I planned to spend a lot of that time in pantyhose and makeup.  It was late fall, going into winter so I was going to be wearing long sleeves and long pants for quite a while.  That allowed me to shave and Nair from neck to toe, from armpit to fingernails, something I had always wanted to do.  I started out in the morning planning on taking a very long time that day to get completely dressed.  I began with coats of red nail polish on my toe and fingernails, three coats each and letting them dry fully in between.  Oh, I forgot to mention that I also started the morning with a type of prescription mild amphetamine so that I would have "speed dick."  If you don't know what that is, amphetamines cause blood to be pulled into the body core which means that there is no excess blood flow to the penis.  No excess blood flow, no hard on.  Oh, you can get turned on but most men couldn't get an erection if the Playmate of the Year and Penthouse Pet of the Year were arguing over who was going to suck their dick.  Anyway, back to dressing.  By lunch time, I was wearing a pair of black panties with a strip of red and black lace across the front and suntan sheer to waist Sheer Energy pantyhose.  I was also wearing a panty girdle, my wife's long line bra and the half slip she wore with her really short skirts.  With my balls tucked up inside me and a shriveled dick, that girdle made me flatter than most women would be.  About that time I took a second amphetimine so if I was speeding before, I was flying that afternoon.  By around four in the afternoon, I was finished with my makeup (red lipstick of course) and was wearing a short red skirt (mine) with a white semi-sheer blouse of my wife's and a pair of black pumps (mine) with a three inch heel.  I had one wig and my wife had two but mine seemed to work best with what I was wearing.  It was a medium length dark blond with bangs.  I didn't really need the bangs to hide my eyebrows as mine have always been fairly thin and light but I liked the look with what I was wearing.  Oh, I forgot to mention that I have a very deep crease in each ear lobe which allowed me to pierce my ears but the holes not show.  I had done that several months earlier so I was wearing pierced dangle type earrings, a matching necklace and bracelet and a couple of rings that fit my little fingers along with my wedding band (ours matched).  By the time I finished everything, it was almost five and I walked outside for a cigarette (Eve menthol).  Because of the carport wall, the curve in our driveway, the curve in the road and a large shrub on one side, you had to be almost halfway up our driveway to see in the carport.  So I had no problem worrying about nosy neighbors.  I could enjoy the click of my heels, the red lipstick stain on my cigarette plus the feel of cool air and the slip swishing across my legs.  I had gone back inside, got something to drink and watched the news for a few minutes.  But that's another thing about speed, you can't stay with any one thing for a long time and another reason it took so long to get dressed.  You will start one thing, then start something else, then go back to the first thing. And I forgot to mention that I had taken a third capsule about four so I was back to flying again.  By that time it was dark and I had loaded up a bowl in my pipe and went back out on the carport.  I took a few hits off the pipe, took it back inside, got my cigarettes.  I standing at the back of my car, breeze blowing on and tickling my exposed legs and with that short a skirt, a lot of leg was exposed.  I had probably taken the third or fourth puff on my cigarette when a set of headlights were coming down the road.  Again, nothing to worry about except that instead of going around the curve, they came up my driveway.  Suddenly I'm standing there, cigarette up to my red lips lit by the headlights of his car.  I remember thinking, "Al can't be here right now, he's going to have to leave."  But of course he didn't.  He got out and came up, looking me over as much as he could in the dim light.  Of course he had all the questions of how long had I been dressing like this, etc.  We ended up sitting on the sofa with his arm on the back of the sofa behind me.  I have to admit he was sneaky plus between the speed and pot, my brain was running about five minutes behind my body.  He started by just barely touching my neck with his fingers but soon he was running them up by my ear and every stroke of his fingers was sending shivers through my body because the speed had me very sensitive.  Next it was a question of had I ever kissed a man.  I said no, that I had kissed a boy when I was younger but never a man.  He started kissing me but said I tasted like cigarettes and asked me to brush my teeth which I did. Al followed me into the bathroom and stood behind me rubbing my shoulders.  I freshened my lipstick and we walked back to the sofa.  As we sat kissing again, I felt his hand at my knee sliding up and down a few inches.  I really can't describe the feeling of his hand sliding over the nylon wrapped around my legs other than it was just overwhelming, like nothing I had ever felt before.  I don't know if I moaned but I know I was probably shaking like a leaf.  I'm pretty sure he knew I was his for the taking but he still worked slow.  He had me stand up and he moved the coffee table before removing the cushions and pulling out the sofa bed telling me if I would lay down, he would massage my legs.  Of course I wanted more of the feeling so I was back on the sofa in a hurry.  Al took his time and rubbed my legs from feet to the bottom of the girdle several times before he began pulling the girdle and hose off.  I hadn't noticed it but when he was in the bathroom with me, he had picked up a bottle of hand cream.  After he got my hose off, he started rubbing my legs with the cream and then asked me to take my panties off so he could massage my ass cheeks.  Yeah, I know but remember like I said, my brain was about five minutes behind.  Before long, he had  me laying on my side rubbing my neck and snuggling up behind me with my head on his arm.  I don't know when he took them off but I remember thinking Al didn't have his pants on.  Of course he was positioning his cock and pushing it into my ass.  I do remember when the head popped into me he stopped and asked if I was ok and I said I was fine.  It's kind of funny that he waited to ask me then but Al wanted to know if I had ever had sex with a man before.  I told him no, but the same boy I had kissed, I sucked his cock for three years.  After a minute or so Al started moving his hips pushing his cock deeper and deeper in me and I was really enjoying the feel of something in my ass.  I turned my head back over my shoulder and Al leaned in and kissed me more.  I do remember thinking I could really get into this kissing men thing.  I asked Al if we could try a different position and that's how I ended up cowgirl on him.  I would loosen up as much as possible to slide down on his dick and then tighten up as much as I could on the upstroke.  Of course I had learned that from my wife who had tremendous control of vaginal muscles. I think Al really liked that because he would moan every time I did it.  I don't think it took too long doing that before he grabbed me, yelled I'm cumming and tried to shove all of his dick and maybe his balls in me.  What amazed me was how hot his cum felt in my ass and how much of it he pumped in me.  I never realized you could feel the heat of cum like that. The next surprise I got was after I got a warm washcloth to clean his cock with.  By the time I got back, he had gone soft but in looking at it I thought how did that huge thing fit in my ass.  Even soft, Al's cock was bigger than my little one when I was hard.  I didn't realize then that Al was one of those who was almost as big soft as they were hard.  He was fairly thick and about seven and a half inches hard but when you consider that the last cock I saw up close belonged to the boy next door when I was 15, Al's seemed like a monster.

So that brings us back to the next day.  I felt  like a log had been shoved up my ass, I hated him and I hated me.  I hated me because I wanted to get dressed, go to his house as soon as he got home from work and ask him to fuck me again.  I wanted to call him and tell him to get up to my house and fuck me.  I was ashamed because I wanted to suck a man's dick instead of a boy's dick like I had when I was fifteen.  I was ashamed because I wanted him to make me his cocksucking sissy faggot slut, to use my ass as pussy for his pleasure.  I was ashamed because I wanted to spend all those days off making myself look as pretty possible so Al would want me.  I hated myself because I wanted Al to think I was the best fuck he had ever had and if he had a choice between fucking a hot woman and fucking me, he would choose me.  I hated myself and Al every day when I woke up but I loved it every night when Al was fucking me.  I did get to suck a man's cock for the first time and apparently I hadn't lost my touch in my seven year layoff.  I also found out that Al was good for more than one time a night.  That first night he didn't try for a second time because he didn't want to scare me.  What he didn't know was, as stoned as I was, when I was washing his cock after we had fucked, I wanted to suck it so bad but I didn't. Isn't it funny.  I spent three years sucking my neighbors dick from age thirteen to almost 16 and it never bothered me.  But the first time someone fucked my ass, I was so upset.  In the time since then, I think I know why.  As a child, and I'm talking about around age seven or eight long before I was sexually aware, I enjoyed having things in my ass.  I would put things like a golf ball, the handle end of my baseball bat, a broom handle or anything that would penetrate my ass.  I would use shampoo bottles in the shower and as a teen, I would run my arm between my legs, rest my hand on the side of the tub, group my finger and thumb together and see how much I could get in my ass,  I didn't know it was called fisting but that's what I was trying to do.  Once I got most of my hand in.  Basically, every chance I got, I was putting something in my ass and the larger the better.  So that's what I think subconsciously scared me when I enjoyed Al fucking me for the first time.  Sure I enjoyed giving what in essence was my middle and high school boyfriend blowjobs.  But I didn't wake up in the morning wanting to run next door and jump in his bed to suck his cock.  If I got a chance to suck his cock, I would and I would try to make his eyes cross when he shot cum down my throat but if we didn't get a chance, no big deal.  But when I woke up that next day after Al fucked me, I was scared.because the feeling of his dick in my ass brought back those thoughts of broom handles, bats, balls or whatever.  I wanted Al's dick in my ass again. I wanted him to pull up my skirt, pull down my panties and fuck me like a sissy faggot.  Today, that would be no big deal to me emotionally.   But then, it scared the hell out of me that I could possibly be a cock loving sissy.

Oh, two things for those who ask. One, although this reads like some sissy fiction you find online, it's not.  Al really did catch me dressed and fucked me that night.  Since he was a social worker specializing in drug abuse/addiction, I'm pretty sure he was quite aware of how stoned (and vulnerable) I was that night and knew I was easy prey.   Second, this was just before everyone had a cell phone and even if you did, the cell companies along with landlines charged for long distance.  My wife and I only talked once a week to avoid a huge phone bill so I didn't have to worry about her calling every night.



Saturday, June 16, 2012

Do You Remember Your First Orgasm?

I'm sure most of us remember it in some shape, form or fashion but I remember almost every single detail of mine.  The one thing I can't remember about it was my age.  I know I was older than 10 so I was either 11 or 12, but I'm not sure which.  I know it was a dry orgasm, it was during the summer, it was between one and two in the morning and I was standing in front of the dresser, looking in the  mirror in my parents room.  I know that sounds like a strange place to have your first orgasm but there is a good explanation for that.   You see, my mother was taking her turn working midnight shift at the hospital on base and, since she was doing midnights, my father traded duty with other people so that he was the base Assistant Duty Officer some of the nights she worked.  That way, he got his overnight duty out of the way while she was doing the overnights.  Since I was always a responsible child, even at that young age, I was allowed to babysit my brothers.   Now can you think of anything more perfect for a sissy like me who would dress up in his mother's clothes anytime he had the chance?  I would usually give them about 15 minutes after they left to make sure they weren't coming back for anything, then I would be out of my bed like a shot and into her lingerie drawers and her closet.  Many times I would wear a grayish black skirt with little flecks of blue in it, a blue sweater, stockings, her heels which fit me at that time and of course underwear.  Bra stuffed with panties, wearing a pair of panties and long leg girdle.  I would ad a scarf and lipstick before going out on the back porch to feel the breeze across my nylon covered legs.  This particular night my outfit varied a little.  I had managed to avoid a haircut for a while and my hair was slightly long and combed back over my ears.  If I let it hang down it looked faintly feminine (at least in my mind it did).  This particular night I was wearing the usual white panties with a long leg panty girdle and, at that age, I knew nothing about tucking.  But I could let my penis lay flat against my stomach and allow the firm center panel of the girdle to mash it flat (and it did).  I knew that rubbing myself through the girdle always felt really good.  Anyway, I had raided the closet for the nurses uniform she wore the night before.  This was back when nurses uniforms were very heavily starched, had buttons up the front and on each sleeve that were placed in similar to cufflinks.  She would hang her worn uniforms back up until she could take the buttons out before sending them to the laundry.  The nurses hats were also starched heavily, then folded and buttoned, then held to the hair with hairpins. So there I was, white nylon stockings (about as thick as tights) attached to the garter tabs of the panty girdle with a soft nylon panty underneath.  I seem to remember that I was wearing  her longline bra with panties stuffing the cups and of course back then a lady always wore a slip.  Most of hers were just very plain nylon to wear under her uniforms.  And on top of that, her uniform and with my hair barely long enough, I was able to pin one of her nurses caps on.  Shoes were my mother's spare pair of white nursing oxfords.  Normally the only makeup my mother wore was face powder and lipstick but for some reason she had started wearing a little mascara and some eye shadow not long before that (I think I know why but that's another story).  So I was able to use more than just lipstick and powder that night.  I'm sure with no practice using shadow and mascara I probably looked terrible but I thought I looked beautiful.  Oh and I topped it off with clip-on button style pearl colored earrings.  This particular night all along as I was dressing I kept rubbing myself and it felt different somehow, I guess better than normal.  After I was finished dressing, I walked around the house, peeked in their room to make sure my brothers were still asleep, went into the kitchen to get something to drink more to see my lipstick marks on the glass than anything else.  This was also during the short time that my mother smoked but she only did it in the house, never in public.  And yes, I was sneaking her cigarettes when I could but again that night, it seemed more erotic(?) to light up a cigarette and see red lip marks on the filter.  Can you imagine how intense a feeling it would be for an 11-12 year old sissy boy to be standing on his back porch, looking like his mother in all her clothes and smoking one of her cigarettes.  I went back inside, put the cigarette out in an ashtray that she used and went back into the bedroom.  I was standing there in front of the mirror and, as I said, rubbing seemed more pleasurable that night that previously so I rubbed a little more.  That was when it happened and I didn't have any idea what was going on.  The MOST intense pleasure started through me but I honestly thought something was wrong.  I remember being really scared that I was sick or something but couldn't stop rubbing my dick, my vision blurring and my legs collapsing as I went to the floor and everything just exploded.  I really think I passed out for a short while because the next thing I was aware of, I was laying on the floor next to my parents bed on my side with the most incredible feeling throughout my body.  I could really feel the stockings on my legs, the pressure of the girdle encasing me from my waist almost to my knees, the bra tight around my chest and the taste of lipstick.  It was so amazing that I was really sad that I had to put everything away, shower to clean up my face and go to bed.  Of course I have cum many times since then while dressed in women's clothing.  Being a sissy faggot, I've sucked dicks and/or taken them up my ass while crossdressed and cum while doing it.  Nothing, including my first time with a girl, has ever come close to that night and my first time cumming.

Oh, the other story about my mother and the makeup?  I honestly think she was having an affair with someone in the neighborhood.