I used to work in the same building with a young lady named Carla who most people would describe as a "character." A lot of times she and I would have lunch together where we would talk about everything under the sun and nothing was taboo like two girlfriends. It helped our conversations that she knew I was a sissy and that I liked men so she would tell me about the men she was fucking and I
would tell her about the men my wife was fucking at the time. Conversations like that led to her telling me one day she often fantasized about watching a guy suck a cock. We both giggled like a couple of school girls before I asked her if she wanted it to stay a fantasy or if she really wanted to see it, I would make it happen for her. Needless to say, she jumped at the opportunity and I called a friend of mine to see what nights he would be available. I gave Carla his address and told her what day and time to be there. The evening we met at his house, I could tell she was really excited so we headed back to the bedroom. Carla sat in a chair about three feet from the side of the bed as my friend and I undressed before he laid on the bed. As I got between his legs and started sucking his cock, I did hear Carla's breathing pick up a little. Now I have two ways of sucking cock. One is to get a guy off rapidly and the other is a soft, slow blowjob paying loving attention to his cock and that's what I did so Carla could get the most enjoyment out of watching it. It wasn't long before I saw movement and I realized she had moved from the chair to kneel beside the bed with her eyes just a few inches away. I continued sucking my friends cock enjoying the fact that Carla was so close and could see how much I was loving that cock in my mouth. It wasn't until I heard her moan that I stopped sucking him for a second and took a peek at Carla who had her skirt up around her waist (she almost never wore panties) and her fingers busy masturbating. I tried to time my sucking to see if I could make my friend cum in my mouth around the same time as Carla's orgasm. I came close but my friend let go with a huge load and I swallowed about half of his cum before I looked over at Carla. I was going to show her the cum in my mouth and then swallow it but her head was tilted back, her eyes were closed and her mouth was open. On impulse, I leaned over and gave her a snowball with the cum left in my mouth. Her eyes shot open and when she realized what I had done, she just started shaking and trying to suck my tongue out of my head before she collapsed backwards. When she finally came back to life, Carla said it was one of the best orgasms she ever had. She started kissing me all over my face saying thank you, thank you, thank you for that. Carla later told me she went home that night, filled her bathtub with hot water and bubble bath. She said she relaxed in the tub and masturbated several times thinking about me sucking my friends cock and it was some of the best sex she had ever had despite not being touched by anyone but herself. Carla did let me know also that if there was anything she could do to repay me for making her fantasy come true, just tell her. And no, I never had any form of sex with her.
Oh and my friend whose cock I sucked? He told me that in trying to impress Carla, I gave him the best blowjob he had ever had.
Random thoughts from a cuckold, wimp, castrated sissy faggot regarding my wife's close to 500 lovers, my lovers, a few who have had us both and any other thing that happens to cross my very fucked up mind.
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
Thursday, November 3, 2016
I Have Been Surgically Castrated
When I was young, even before puberty around 8 or 9, I would
push my testicle back up into the canal so there was nothing beneath my penis.
By the way, I said testicle because one of mine was undescended and I didn’t
have surgery to bring it down until I was 12.
Anyway, when I pushed it back up inside I liked the feeling and visual
of nothing beneath my penis. Now like I
said this was before puberty and there was no sexual aspect to this, I simply
liked not having anything there. So it
seems like I had a castration fetish even before there was anything sexual
about it. OK, granted when I got into
puberty I would masturbate quite often thinking of not having any balls.
Fast forward to today.
I no longer have a major castration fetish because I am castrated, no balls, neutered, emasculated, gelded or however you want to
put it; I am a eunuch! And I love
it. A while back I had written that my
urologist seemed to blow off my testicular pain but when I emphasized to him
how bad the pain was, he started paying attention. He did try me on medications, tried numbing
but it didn’t work. So he started
talking about other treatments including removal which sounded great to
me. I probably exaggerated the pain some
(ok more than some) to him but there were times when I was literally sick at my
stomach when I was hurting. Finally he
agreed to remove the one testicle with the pain and the other which had
atrophied if my wife agreed. Well, she
hasn’t used my cock for anything since 2008 and knows about the fetish so it
was no problem for her. So on a fine
spring day earlier in 2016, I walked into my doctor’s office and was escorted to the operating
suite in the back. I undressed, put on a
gown and sat talking with my wife until they came in and started an IV. Shortly after I was escorted into the
operating room and I lay down on the operating table. The anesthesiologist came over and told me he
was putting something into my IV and I would feel warm for a few seconds before
I went out. As he injected the
anesthesia I knew I would be out very quickly and my last very happy thought
was I would shortly be castrated. Of
course I was asleep but what happened next was they put my
feet up in stirrups, shaved me, my surgeon came in, took a scalpel and sliced open my scrotum. He then pulled one testicle out, tied off the
cord as high as he could and cut off the testicle. Then he repeated that on the other side and
it was done, around 11:15 in the morning I was castrated (I love saying that). Then they sewed me back up, bandaged me, put
a sanitary napkin between my legs, put what amounted to a gauze panty on me and
sent me out to recovery. Not long after
that I woke up in recovery a little foggy and as the fog cleared I gave my wife
a big grin which she returned. It really hadn’t
sunk in at the time but over the next few days I kept saying to myself over and
over, “I’ve been castrated!” until it finally sank in. A couple of things about my castration. Normally with a surgical incision, the doctor
stitches it up tight so there is no leakage.
With castration because of how it’s done and how fluid builds up in the
area, it’s apparently not stitched tight.
For two or three weeks afterward as you heal, you leak both blood and fluid. So you have to use pads to keep your panties
from becoming blood stained. At first I
was changing my pad three times a day and it’s a little strange telling your
wife you are running low on sanitary napkins so would she pick up some at the
drugstore for you. The other rather
strange thing is pulling your panties down and seeing a bloody sanitary pad
between your legs like you were having your period. Startling!
There was also something a little surprising. In discussion online with other eunuchs,
people talked about swelling of the ends of the cords where severed after
castration so that for a few weeks, it was like there were still testicles
until the swelling went down. Also they
talked about bruising and pain. One
close friend several years ago was bruised up to the bellybutton and several
people talked about that kicked in the groin feeling. I had none of that. My cords did not swell, I didn’t bruise and
I had NO pain, none. It’s almost like my
body was understanding that I was meant to be a eunuch and the surgery was just
getting me where I should be. There is a
doctor in the US who will castrate anyone who desires it in his office. But the cost is a few thousand dollars. Because he had been treating me for pain, my
doctor was able to write my castration up for my insurance. People
who want to be voluntarily castrated just to become eunuchs are paying around
five thousand dollars but I was able to do it for one hundred forty dollars. One thing about the doctor who will castrate anyone is he does it under a local with just a nurse. He allows photographs and will hold your testicles for you to take a picture of them. So you can actually photo and video record your castration. I really would have liked to have photo or video records of mine.
It’s been six months now and I have some interesting observations. When you are impotent, as I was for a few
years, you still have desires and while you don’t have physical erections,
there are “mental erections.” Even when I was impotent and
my penis wouldn’t get hard, I still had desires for orgasms. Even when I wrote about my wife wanting to get
the Viagra so I could fuck her and I didn’t want to fuck her, it wasn’t that I
didn’t really want to. It’s just as a
sissy I felt she should get sex from a real man. It didn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy an
orgasm. However being castrated is
different. While everyone’s experience is different and
some eunuchs take longer than others to lose interest in sex, mine was almost
immediate. Now not only is my little
penis was no longer interested in sex, neither is my brain. It’s hard to explain. I remember masturbating before I became
impotent but now, even if I could now I just doesn’t seem like it would be
worth the effort. I remember what sex
is, I just no longer understand why anyone would bother. I used to get mentally excited watching a man
fuck my wife but now it’s no more exciting than watching them sit and
talk. Why would you expend all that
energy for just a couple of moments orgasm?
Oh it doesn’t mean I no longer have sex or maybe I should say I’m still
used for sex. One of my wife’s longer
term boyfriends is bi and he is fascinated by me being castrated. So he’s fucked me a few times since my
castrations and that also is totally different.
Before I would enjoy both the physical feeling of his cock in me and the
mental excitement of being used. There
was an element of sexual satisfaction to being fucked.
Now it’s just something mechanical done to me. Oh his cock in my ass still feels good but it’s
the feel good of a massage, not mental pleasure of sex and my main thought is I’m
bored and will you hurry up and cum. The
same goes for sucking his cock. Before I
would enjoy it and it would be sexually stimulating but now when I do it all I’m
trying to do is get it over with and thinking isn’t he ready to fuck my wife
yet? I’m also discovering that I am
becoming more and more submissive to her and this particular boyfriend which is
surprising as I’ve never considered myself truly submissive. Sure I enjoyed humiliation but I didn’t like
being really bossed around. The other
day, when he was getting ready to fuck my wife, he ordered me to do something and
I didn’t even hesitate to obey like I would have in the past. I actually enjoyed the humiliation of
instantly obeying him. While there is no
sexual aspect to it, I find myself occasionally thinking how much fun it would
be to spend some time as his servant. I’m
actually thinking about asking my wife is she wants to take some vacation to spend
with him, her as his wife and me as their maid. I think it would be interesting since he has a
small apartment off the deck in back of his house where his ex-wife’s mom used
to live. It’s a small apartment with
just a living room/bedroom combination, a bathroom and a tiny kitchen but it is
separate from the house. My wife would
be living in the house with him as basically his wife and I would be living in
the apartment at night while working in the house during the day like any servant. I am almost positive my wife would say yes and,
since she doesn’t work along with me having eight weeks of vacation we could
spend as much as a month. Plus this is the boyfriend she went on a five day road trip with in his RV so she's spent the night with him a few nights. No telling how
submissive I might be at the end of that time.
As a second thought however, it should probably be less than a month for two
reasons. First, if she spent a month
getting fucked by his big dick every night, she might never want to leave. Second if I spent a month as their maid wearing
nothing but my maids uniforms, I might never want to leave either.
So some final thoughts on being castrated. Obviously castration is not for everyone but
it is for me and I feel great. It’s so amazing to reach between my legs and there
is nothing beneath my ever shrinking penis. And my panties fit so much better with only a tiny bulge in them.
Even when you’re impotent, there is still a sexual drive and now that is
gone forever. I will never penetrate
anything again, I will only be penetrated.
My sex life is over forever and I don’t care nor do I want it back. I am also seriously thinking of getting a
Eunuch tattoo for people to see. Oh, it
wouldn’t be Eunuch in English, it would be this 宦官 which means Eunuch in Japanese. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to walk
around with a permanent mark that you are castrated?
Oh and finally, while I didn’t fuck her, the night before I
was castrated my wife gave me a blow job because she thought I should have one
last sexual experience as a male. My
first sexual contact with a woman in over 8 years and yes, I orgasmed. She commented that I actually got semi-hard
and asked if the thought of being castrated was what was turning me on. I’ve always been honest and I told her yes,
it did even more that watching men fuck her.
That the thought of the next day my balls would be cut off and gone
forever was a huge turn on and it was what I was thinking about when I was
cumming.
I have been castrated and I love it! I am a
EUNUCH!
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