You actually know the difference between mauve and rose.
You know the difference between taupe hose and gray hose.
You can put on a pair of Cuban heeled seamed stockings and get the seams straight the first time.
You know what a Cuban heel is.
Your wife just uses the little applicators and pads that come with makeup. You have a kit of professional makeup brushes including three separate brushes for eyeshadow alone.
She has called you a slut and was joking.
She has called you a slut and was serious.
She has called you "a bitch" in anger.
You ask her if her favorite lover is mad at her since she hasn't seen him in a month.
She hasn't slept with any of her lovers in a couple of weeks and you tell her she needs to get out more.
Her idea of spending a pleasant April weekend is at a resort on the beach fucking a lover. Your idea of a spending the same pleasant April weekend is wearing some of your French maid uniforms and working from Friday night to Sunday night giving the house a thorough spring cleaning.
You are hand washing your most delicate lingerie and you thoughtfully ask her if she needs any of hers done while you're at it.
She has watched you walking out of a building with your leg flashing out of the slit in your skirt and commented when you got in the car about how sexy your legs are.
Your wife's tramp stamp is a Polynesian tribal tattoo. Your tramp stamp is soft green vines, pink flowers and pastel butterflies.
Your wife got her bellybutton pierced after seeing how cute yours looked.