An Interesting Sensation

Or should I say lack of sensation.  We have a tube of ointment in the medicine chest that contains mint and lidocaine, a topical anesthetic that is absorbed through the skin creating a numbness.  Now first of all, this is not your garden variety of over the counter ointment but is a prescription so it is much stronger.  I noticed the tube in the medicine cabinet the other day and, of course, this got my warped, depraved, fucked up brain to thinking.  What is this were applied to my limp little imitation of a cock?  Granted I am totally fucking impotent but I still feel sensations although nothing strong enough to cause an erection.  But could I make it totally numb if my little nub were exposed to the ointment for a good length of time?  And how to keep the ointment applied so that it doesn't rub off?  To solve that problem, I took a small prescription bottle, smeared some ointment around the sides of the bottle, smeared a little more on the head of my tiny cock and slid the bottle over my little dicklette.  The ointment has a greasy base that acted as a lubricant but yes, I fit inside a small prescription bottle!  Then to hold it in place, I pulled on a very tight pair of panties.  Starting out, the mint in the ointment began creating it's own sensations producing a slight burning that at the same time was kind of pleasant.  I noticed as time went on the burning began changing to a slight cold sensation which finally changed to nothing at all.  I was totally numb but I wanted to make sure so I left my cock in the bottle absorbing the anesthetic for a total of two and a half hours.  When I took it off I wanted to see just how numb it was so I took my thumb and forefinger and flicked it as hard as I could.  Oh, I could feel the impact but nothing else. To test this out, I pulled out my slinkiest pair of PJs and put them on.  Even though I can't get an erection, they still normally feel pleasant rubbing my little cock.  This time?  Nothing, it was like my cock wasn't even there and you know something?  I liked it!!!

I Took Some Purity Tests Online Today

I took a few purity tests today just playing around online.  One rated me 32.4% pure, another rated me 22% pure and a final one rated me 20% (Totally Depraved).  Apparently the only lower rating I could have gotten on that test was Sick and Wrong.  And to think, I only missed that one by a few points!  Actually I figured it out that I missed it by ten points and that I was the top of the Totally Depraved.  One more point and I would have gone to Decidedly Perverted,  I also took a Sexuality Spectrum and was rated as bi with gay leanings.  I guess that means given a choice between pussy and cock, I'll take the cock.

The first test with the 32.4% score was a 1000 question test and the second 22% score was a 200 question test from the same website.  One obvious reason for the different score is on the 1000 word test they might ask four questions regarding getting scratches on your or your partners back during sex.  You might answer one yes and three no.  Meanwhile, on the 200 question test, they might combine all of these into one question allowing you to answer with one yes only to that question.  Since each yes lowers your purity and each no raises it, obviously you will score lower where several questions are combined.  There is also a 500 question test on the same website which I'm sure would show a result somewhere between the two.

The third test was only 100 questions so again it's a matter of less no answers and more yes answers.  It did seem they had cribbed a lot of their questions from the website with the 200, 500 and 1000 question tests.  The difference with the site is their rankings of purity.  The following are their rankings and, as you can see, I almost made it to the top or maybe the "bottom of the barrel."  I guess maybe if I when my Boxer had humped my leg when I was a teen, if I had let him...nah being knotted wouldn't be worth a lower score would it? Or maybe I could have jacked off a horse down at the farm. I don't remember if this test had a question about it, I'm not setting up a drug lab to get a lower score.  Walter White I'm not!  Oh well, at least only 2% of the people who took this test were more warped that me.  So I can proudly say I'm more fucked up than 98% of the people who took this test.

20% pure: Totally Depraved

You are just 20% sexually pure!

Your Analysis (Vertical line = Average)

• 
  
  You scored 20% on purity, higher than 2% of your peers.

All possible test results 

Sick and Wrong 

Totally Depraved

Decidedly Perverted

Very Kinky

Somewhat Debaucherous

Rather Experienced

Tad Inexperienced

Mostly Innocent

Uncorrupted

Pure as Driven Snow

The results of the Sexuality Spectrum I think are a little skewed by the way they ask questions.  For instance, if we are happily married, even if she and I are both getting sex from men and not each other, it still counts toward being heterosexual.  On the test, it doesn't matter if my idea of great sex is sucking a cock hard before he fucks my wife.   It doesn't matter if my idea of group sex is sitting in the corner watching ten men gang fuck my wife or laying on the bed with ten men DPing me.  It doesn't matter that I haven't had sex with my wife in five and a half years but she's been fucked hundreds of times by a lot of men (and a few women)  in that same period.  It doesn't matter if my idea of a long cock slowly sliding in and out is in and out of my ass.  If you are happy with your wife as a platonic partner, or in other words almost a sister, it's hard to score very much on the gay side.

 This is the website for the 200, 500 and 1000 question tests.  Answer them honestly and post your scores in comments here.  http://www.puritytest.net/   Try it out and let me know how well or poorly you did.

 

Sissie